My Exciting Black Friday Adventure

Now, usually I don't like to go out on Black Friday. I usually like to stay home and let other people risk their lives buying presents for me wait for a safe time to find some good deals on Christmas gifts for my loved ones.

Well, this year I tried it.

I played a gambling game with my life.

And I think I won.

Here is a timeline of my entire morning.

3:30am - Alarm

3:40am - Wake the brother.
3:43am - Update Facebook Status

3:50am - Leave house.

4:15am - Arrive at RadioShack #1 in large town. Observe line of 8 people already formed.

4:16am - Take a poll of who wants to buy the $179.99 netbook.

4:17am - Find out that all 8 people would like to buy netbook.

4:27am - Discuss this with brother, decide to have me travel to RadioShack #2 in small town. Leave brother stranded at RadioShack #1.

4:47am - Arrive at RadioShack #2. No line. No cars. No signs of life.

4:50am - Very bored, text three people in hopes that one will respond.

4:53am - Friends one and two respond. Both are shopping.

4:54am - Friend three responds angrily. Not sure we are actually still friends.

5:11am - Large man arrives to wait in line behind me. My "fight or flight" instinct starts to kick in.

5:14am - Two more large men arrive to wait in line behind large man #1. Hold purse tighter, attempt to remember self defense techniques buried in the back of mind.

5:30am - Store opens. Netbook received.

5:35am - Credit card declined. Apparently the account automatically closes if you fail to use your card after one year. Tears start to form.

5:36am - RadioShack clerk notices tears, has an internal panic attack.

5:37am - RadioShack clerk #2 notices as well, offers to hold Netbook for me while I go get another card.

5:38am - On my way back to RadioShack #1 to pick up stranded brother and alternate credit card. 

5:58am - Arrive at RadioShack #1. Brother was unsuccessful. No netbook. Hear news that after I left, other unsuccessful customers waiting in line interrogated the brother until he admitted to them my netbook-buying strategy.

6:00am - Attempt to fight against battle of fleshly pride and lose. Repent.

6:20am - Arrive back at RadioShack #2. Netbook was held safely. Credit card #2 was successful. Clerk #1's heart rate seems to have returned back to a normal state.

6:33am - Arrive home. Eat bagel. Sleep.

9:32am - Wake up in bliss. 

In short, reader, I learned three things on this wonderful Black Friday:

1) It's not a bad idea to carry pepper spray. Just in case.

2) Crying will get you almost anything.

3) I never, ever, under any circumstances, want to see 3:30am ever again.

Happy Holidays!