As some of you know, I am a substitute teacher. And as most of you know, the primary two assignments for substitute teachers are to 1) Give the students pointless busywork so that they're occupied for 45 minutes and 2) Make sure they don't kill each other.
Well, the other day I substituted for a 9th grade science teacher who didn't know he was going to be out and I had to show them an "emergency video". I had them write 25 facts on this video so that I could assure the teacher that they actually watched it.
BIG MISTAKE.
I decided to root through these facts I collected and it was no doubt a very entertaining part of my day. Here are the top ten "facts" I found:
- People use toads for magic.
- Skunks smell...
- Jellyfish sting
- Scorpions sting
- Snakes have no feet or hands
- That's amazing!
- That's amazing!
- Some frogs can fly!
- Poisonous jellyfish are under the sea
- Rattlesnakes like to party.
Completely false statements: 3
Completely obvious statements: 5
Completely nonsensical statements: 2
So much for convincing the teacher that I actually showed them an informative video. I don't know how I can be so entertained yet so disappointed at the same time. Oh, public school system. You give me mixed emotions.
