Men's Pants

Just a really short, random thought of the day: Men's pants.


I've recently been thinking of men's pants. And I guess it makes sense to have the boxers with a hole in them. But I'm not kidding you, this just goes to prove how lazy guys really are. I mean COME ON. You know a man invented that idea and you know it's really sad when the guy can't quite get himself to remove his drawers so a HOLE is created so that there is absolutely NO effort in going pee. It just amazes me. Next thing you know they're going to add a tube to his La-Z-Boy.

Fine. I'm just jealous.

Shut up! I'm harvesting tulips!

Okay, so I needed to write my views on current technology and the effect it has on us as human beings.

What ever happened to the good old days when you actually DID what you said you were doing? Let me explain. The other day, my sister Caitlin came home from work and all of a sudden, in the living room, I hear all of these farm noises. I'm pretty sure I heard a chicken, a cow, and a pig, all in the comfort of my own living room. Slightly distressed, I made my way out to the living room and politely asked Caitlin what the HECK she was doing.

She quickly responded, "Shut up! I'm harvesting tulips!"'

This caused 8 seconds of awkward as I stood, blinking my eyes. How can someone harvest tulips inside, on a couch, with a laptop?! The whole thing was simply absurd. Caitlin was indeed not harvesting tulips. She was playing a game called Farmville and she was artificially harvesting artificial tulips in an artificial garden!

This is how we should say these things from now on.

Another example. The other day I'm sitting in the living room and I hear my other sister, in the den, scream "MY POT ROAST IS BURNING!"

...This gave me a mini heart attack as a million different thoughts crossed my mind. Does she know HOW to cook pot roast? Is the pot roast for dinner? Mashed potatoes have to go with the pot roast, no question. Why did my mom let her cook the pot roast? ? Mmm, I haven't had pot roast in a long time. Are we going to have to go out for pizza now that the pot roast is burnt? Wait a minute why is my 13-year-old sister cooking a pot roast in the first place!?

After this rush of emotions, I realized that Erin was referring to the artificial pot roast she artificially cooked in an ARTIFICIAL CAFE. You don't understand the distress this caused me. I was now craving pot roast covered in pizza while trying to figure out which of my possessions I wanted to save in the burnt meat fire of death.

The other day we bought a Wii complete with the Wii Fit. Extreme sports in the living room; don't even get me started.

...I'm telling you. Technology messes you up. Big time. Take it from me. My siblings are able to harvest tulips, snowboard, and cook pot roast all in the same room at the same time. And you wonder why I'm messed up.

Chain Letter Analysis

Oh dear reader I don't even know what to say about these chain letters or more importantly about the people who actually forward them. Let's take a look at this chain letter and what it says will happen should I repost it...

"Don't EVER leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love...tonight your true love will realize how much they love you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will occur. if you break the chain then you will have bad luck."

We start off with a brief word of wisdom:

"Don't EVER leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love..."

That's cool. That's really awesome. But I find it very difficult to trust this knowledge when there are approximately five grammatical errors in this FOUR SENTENCE chain letter.

Let's just try to look past that and get to the next part.

"tonight your true love will realize how much they love you. between 1 & 4 in the morning, tomorrow the shock of your life will occur."

Uh...what?! The shock of my life BETTER not occur between 1:00am and 4:00am! Why would anyone want that?! In that deep of a slumber, anything would be the shock of my life! So that's just great. I'm gonna get woken up and freaked out early tomorrow morning by some unknown terror. Unless the "shock of my life" is the fact that my true love is gonna realize he's in love with me. In that case, that's really disturbing also. What I'm getting from this is that whoever this boy is, he's going to suddenly wake up, spring out of bed, fall madly in love with me, and then go back to sleep and probably not even remember his little epiphany. This chain letter is providing me with a lose-lose situation! If I repost this, I'm going to get some sort of a rude awakening at some ungodly hour of the night, or some boy's gonna fall in love with me in his sleep and then forget it.

If I don't repost this, I'm going to have bad luck.

...

Uh huh. And what do you, oh chain letter creater from hell, call the situation to begin with?

Either way, I'm sleeping with a crowbar tonight.

Welcome!

Hi and welcome to my blog. Before you go judging me because of the title, know that I do like to rewind videos after they are watched (well, I would like to do this if the situation still applied to us today in the 21st century.) The point I'm trying to make is, I believe in common courtesy toward others, but sometimes I think it's cool to put a spin on the social norms.

Now that the pointless first paragraph has come to a screeching halt, I'd like to explain what this blog will entail.

...

Erm... Okay. I wish I knew. I guess since I like writing, and because people are generally entertained by stories of my life, I decided to write this blog. That, and the movie Julie & Julia happens to be pretty inspiring.

So read my blog. As long as I have readers I promise to update at least two times a week.

And remember--
Be kind but don't rewind. :)
lovelymittens.blogspot.com
Love, AJ