Ways to get back at your brother

I am the second-born child in my family out of four, so needless to say, I have been able to be the stronger older sister for about fourteen wonderful, blissful years.

Unfortunately, when you have a brother, that joyful situation slowly starts to fade.

This is why I am writing this blog now, for all of the older sisters who happen to be reading. While you may not be able to beat him up anymore, below I have provided many different techniques for torturing ...reminding him that you are still the older, smarter sibling.

1. Throw something at him and run.
Now, don't get me wrong. This is not the best technique, and you have to have it planned out pretty well. You have to be able to either a) out run him or b) at least run to a place with a door and a lock. This is a risky situation that requires practice, and I do not claim responsibility for failed attempts. Also, I do not guarantee that when you finally do open the door he won't be waiting there with a bat. Just covering all bases. I don't need a lawsuit.

2.  Steal the ladder away after he climbs to something high.
This opportunity comes to you but once in a blue moon, so when you get the chance, take it. One time my brother was climbing up to the attic to get some Christmas decorations, and once he got up there, all I saw was an empty ladder, and feet hanging from the ceiling. Of course I stole the ladder and ran. His pride then got in the way when he attempted to get down without the ladder instead of begging for it back. I finally gave him the ladder after making him repeat many wonderful things about me.

3. Punch him in public.
He probably won't punch you back. If he does, scream. Loudly.

4. Go to his classroom and embarrass him.
One time I went to his school and asked his teacher if I could please embarrass my brother. She had no idea who I was. I had no idea who she was. Yet, she for some reason allowed me to make an announcement that I brought him that spare pair of underwear he had asked me for. My brother might've been mad at me, but I was able to resort back in time and finally claim the title of the most popular person in high school. Worth it? Absolutely.

In conclusion, readers, wits far outweigh strength, and there are many ways for you to still have victory over your brother without actually beating him up. All you need are witnesses, a locked door to escape to, and possibly a really, really good lawyer.