Well, this year I tried it.
I played a gambling game with my life.
And I think I won.
Here is a timeline of my entire morning.
3:30am - Alarm
3:50am - Leave house.
4:15am - Arrive at RadioShack #1 in large town. Observe line of 8 people already formed.
4:16am - Take a poll of who wants to buy the $179.99 netbook.
4:17am - Find out that all 8 people would like to buy netbook.
4:27am - Discuss this with brother, decide to have me travel to RadioShack #2 in small town. Leave brother stranded at RadioShack #1.
4:47am - Arrive at RadioShack #2. No line. No cars. No signs of life.
4:50am - Very bored, text three people in hopes that one will respond.
4:53am - Friends one and two respond. Both are shopping.
4:54am - Friend three responds angrily. Not sure we are actually still friends.
5:11am - Large man arrives to wait in line behind me. My "fight or flight" instinct starts to kick in.
5:14am - Two more large men arrive to wait in line behind large man #1. Hold purse tighter, attempt to remember self defense techniques buried in the back of mind.
5:30am - Store opens. Netbook received.
5:35am - Credit card declined. Apparently the account automatically closes if you fail to use your card after one year. Tears start to form.
5:36am - RadioShack clerk notices tears, has an internal panic attack.
5:37am - RadioShack clerk #2 notices as well, offers to hold Netbook for me while I go get another card.
5:38am - On my way back to RadioShack #1 to pick up stranded brother and alternate credit card.
5:58am - Arrive at RadioShack #1. Brother was unsuccessful. No netbook. Hear news that after I left, other unsuccessful customers waiting in line interrogated the brother until he admitted to them my netbook-buying strategy.
6:00am - Attempt to fight against battle of fleshly pride and lose. Repent.
6:20am - Arrive back at RadioShack #2. Netbook was held safely. Credit card #2 was successful. Clerk #1's heart rate seems to have returned back to a normal state.
6:33am - Arrive home. Eat bagel. Sleep.
9:32am - Wake up in bliss.
In short, reader, I learned three things on this wonderful Black Friday:
1) It's not a bad idea to carry pepper spray. Just in case.
2) Crying will get you almost anything.
3) I never, ever, under any circumstances, want to see 3:30am ever again.
Happy Holidays!
