Birds

Now, I know, I know. You're wondering how in the world I'm going to come up with an entertaining blog with the title being 'Birds'. I mean, what do they do? They fly around aimlessly and poop on things. Boring, right?

WRONG.

Reader, I'm going to explain to you right now why birds are one of the most mischievously hilarious animals that God has created, and thus are highly entertaining. Let me elaborate:

Reason 1: Birds fly around and poop on things.

I'm going to ask you one question. What other animal in the WORLD gets their kicks by flying way out of reach of humans and then proceeding to play an intense game of target practice on their heads? And they rarely ever miss! I mean, seriously. That's talent. And if that's not enough, they have this ability to create little poop portraits by turning your car into their own personal blank canvas. Artistic and mischievous? If that is not a vivid example of God's sense of humor, I don't know what is.

Reason 2: Birds are rebels.

Here's what I don't understand about birds: Why do they sit in the middle of the road while cars are driving around, and don't move until the LAST possible second? I mean, do they have something more important to do? Are they in the middle of a highly important bird convention in which they are discussing which human to target next on their poop-dropping game of terror? Possibly. But I think what they are all really doing is playing chicken with cars in dangerous highways. The birds are playing chicken. Rebellious and ironic. 

Reason 3: Birds fly into windows.

I don't care who you are. That's funny.