Charitable Harassment Ahead

So, I was peacefully driving down the street today, admiring the change in my little change drawer in my car, when I saw it.

The sign.

The sign that causes you an internal panic attack.
The sign that makes you wish you had tinted windows.
The sign that keeps you praying the light stays green.
The sign of doom:

Now, I'm not trying to say that I am against giving to charity. That is not the case at all. I'm just trying to say that I don't like giving to this charity for three reasons:

1) I have no idea what in the world the charity is even for.
2) I feel as if I am giving out of obligation.
3) I really, really need my toll change.

I mean, really people. Referring to point #2, the sign is even scary in itself. It's not friendly, or warm, or welcoming. It's warning you to get the change out and ready while subliminally threatening those who don't with those scary, bold, black, condemning capital letters of doom.

And the people collecting money are waiting at the red lights! How uncomfortable is that? It makes me pray to God that the light stays green or that I had tinted windows or something. Because once you're stuck at that red light, you're caught. The people are standing there, staring you down with their bucket filled of obligatory guilt-change and there's no turning back at that point. Especially if you're caught at the very beginning of the red light. Not giving these people your money will be the most uncomfortable 2 minutes and 42 seconds of your life. And you've gotta time yourself just right. There are people standing there for every 100 feet to make sure you don't get away with just sitting there keeping your change to yourself.

I'm just saying. It's scary. And the only way to get out of it is to give those people your money to a charity of who knows what, or you look like a jerk.

For not giving to some charity you're not even aware of.

I think next time I'm going to roll down my window and donate my two cents.

And I don't mean the copper kind.